As she holds the gun to her head…

She starts thinking about the past before she ends up dead…

A black girl…

Raised by a white family…

She has nightmares of her real parents dying in the car crash when she was only three…

Still to this day she doesn’t understand how she’s still here…

Constantly trying to wake herself up from this dream in denial, that she’s living in foster care…

But her new mothers love didn’t go by the complexion of each others faces…

She was always there for her and never stopped loving her…

But her father wanted nothing to do with her…

She felt in her heart that he was racist…

But It didnt hurt as much knowing she still had her mother’s love…

As if those months she was being created was in this woman’s stomach she was being carried…

Life didn’t seem so bad for the girl, it was actually getting better…

Until cancer took her mother away as she cried watching her only friend become buried…

Witnessing the ground erupt with everyone of her fears…

But who could she run to?

She couldn’t go to daddy…

All his drunk night beatings just added more tears…

Constantly cutting herself until she decides to run away…

A teenage girl trying to out run all of her demons for 15 years everyday…

And when she finally felt that she escaped…

The poor girl let her guard down not knowing within five minutes she would be raped…

She thought, as she cried, scratched, and screamed!

That even her guardian angel turned their back on her it seemed…

Months later her stomach’s getting bigger as her hearts becoming stronger…

She was ready for her baby to be born she couldn’t wait any longer…

To give her child the life she never had…

One without pain, raising it by herself not even knowing the dad…

To finally have someone to love her back…

And now she’s regretting all thoes homeless nights…

With empty henny bottles and soda just to chase it…

Is probably the main reason why the baby didnt make it…

She feels she has nothing to live for…

As she holds the gun to her head…

She starts thinking about the past before she ends up dead…

And then she slowly puts the gun down as she looks up to the sky…

And see’s her parents looking back at her as they begin to cry…

She feels in heart that its a sign that its never to late to change fate…

Theres always the next day…

Suicides never the way…

And now she calls herself S.U.S.H.I…

Because…

“She Understands She Has Issues…”

-Randum